This article was written by state missionary Rob Jackson.
A healthy church is led by a healthy leader. Healthy leaders also lead their families well. I realize that not all leaders have a spouse and children. If, however, you do have a family, then you are the spiritual leader of this family. Let me suggest 11 tough questions that can be used to evaluate your leadership at home. I asked these questions to my wife and was convicted by some of her answers.
1. Do you see me practicing what I preach?
Am I as passionate about the Lord at home as I am in the pulpit?
2. Am I truthful in the pulpit?
Do I exaggerate the stories and illustrations I use?
3. Do I embarrass you with my family illustrations from the pulpit?
Probably all of us have done this with our family. However, we need to ask this question and repent if the answer is yes.
4. Is the way I approach my calling causing you to resent the local church?
Do not be defensive. Ask how you can better prioritize your time with them.
5. Do you see me in prayer and reading the Bible other than in preparation for Sunday?
Ask if they see in you a daily authentic walk with Christ.
6. Do you feel I value and love you as Christ loves the church?
You preach on this love. Does your family feel this love?
7. Do I expect too much from you as the “preacher’s wife” or “preacher’s kids”?
Seek their honest thoughts.
8. Do you feel that I make family discipleship a regular priority?
You need to know if they think you are discipling them.
9. Am I often distracted when I am home with the family?
Does your spouse feel alone or ignored? What about your children?
10. If you were not family members, would you want to attend the church I pastor?
Pause and give them time to answer. Follow up this question by asking them to elaborate on their answer.
11. What can I do to be a better husband and father?
You should desire to grow in your love and leadership in your family. This healthy familial leadership spills over into authentic pastoral leadership.
What questions would you add to this list?