Key Qualities of a Highly Relational Leader

Keys on hymnal

This article was written by Ken Sande, Peacemaker Ministries and RW360 and introduced by Ken Allen, State Missionary.

On January 17, the first P in the Intentional Leader Series, Person: The Heart of Leading Well, was presented by Ken Sande in a workshop at the State Board of Missions. Ken is founder of Peacemaker Ministries and RW360 and a nationally recognized leader in the area of conflict and mediation. Ken’s presentation should be heard by every pastor in Alabama. Soon each session will be posted on (We’ll let you know through this weekly email when it’s available.) Ken has given permission for us to share his Key Qualities of a Highly Relational Leader. You can find the entire presentation with links for more information about each point at You will also find his articles and books of tremendous value. Here is that list:

1. Healthy churches arerelational churches. (Matt. 22:37-39)
2. Relational churches have relational leaders. (1 Thess. 1:7-8)
Relational leaders:
3. Realize that there is one relationship that is rarely restored.
4. Know that wisdom is relational not informational. (James 3:17)
5. Realize that sin can turn strengths into weaknesses. (1 Cor. 8:1)
6. Understand the seductiveness of power and its potential for abuse.
7. Are always bringing the gospel to their people. (Rom. 5:1-11)
8. Develop their capacity for empathy and compassion. (Col. 3:12)
9. Tend their flocks like a shepherd. (Isa. 40:11)
10. Use church discipline to redeem and restore lost sheep.
11. Are both approachable and accountable. (Luke 7:37-38; Matt. 8:9)
12. Are always building passport. (John 4:7-30)
13. Study their people. (Mark 6:34)
14. Practice clarity plus charity. (Matt. 7:12)
15. Are skilled peacemakers. (Matt. 5:9, James 3:18)
16. Know how to defuse explosive meetings. (Matt. 7:3-5)
17. Use relational wisdom to exalt Christ in every challenge of life, including cancer.
18. Know that smooth leadership transitions are characterized by TRUTH (Transparency, Reality, Unity, Timeliness, Humility).
19. Equip their people to use the principles of relational wisdom and peacemaking for witnessing and evangelism.
20. Use relational commitments to obtain informed consent to their policies and practices, which reduces conflict and exposure to legal liability.

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